All Christmas Songs

By Sirena Van Schaik

When I was about six, I remember going with my class to a retirement home just before our school closed for the Christmas holidays. I remember standing in front of a room of seniors as they waited for us to collect ourselves on the stage in front of them and I was nervous as we belted out our first song of Deck the Halls. It wasn’t until the entire class greeted all the seniors with our big smiles, many of us missing several teeth as we began singing, “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.”

The soft chuckles of the people watching us made me realize how funny we must have looked, big toothless grins, yelling out the songs instead of actually holding a tune and all of us leaning forward with the force of every note. It was a great time and that was the moment as I watched the faces smile back at us that I realized I loved funny Christmas songs.

And what’s not to love about them. They make us laugh, and they bring more cheer to the holidays than any other Christmas carol. They remind us that it is okay to be silly and yes, it is okay to stand up in front of a group of people, teeth visibly missing and belt out a song in off key voices. Christmas is fun and what better way is there to celebrate it than by singing a few funny Christmas songs.

So without further ado, here are a few lyrics to get you started on your funny Christmas song collection.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth

Written by Donald Yetter Gardner (1944)

Obviously, I needed to start with this one since it has so many fond memories for me. It is a great song and I am sure that children are still singing it today.

Lyrics:

“Every body stops
and stares at me
These two teeth are
gone as you can see
I don’t know just who
to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve
is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth!

Gee, if I could only
have my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
“Merry Christmas.”
It seems so long since I could say,
“Sister Susie sitting on a thistle!”
Gosh oh gee, how happy I’d be,
if I could only whistle (thhhh, thhhh)

All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth.

Gee, if I could only
have my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
“Merry Christmas!”

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus

Written by Tommie Connor (1952)

Sadly, the very first time I ever heard this song was when the Mini Pops sang it in the eighties. That is probably dating myself but since then it has been associated with those little pops but it still makes a fun song for the holidays and many other musicians have recorded this song both before and after the Mini Pops.

“I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep
Then I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night”

Grandma got Run Over by a Reindeer

Written by Randy Brooks (1979)

And last but certainly not the least is this little song by Randy Brooks. I have heard various versions of this song and it has become a favorite for many artists and Christmas carolers who enjoy the occasional funny song in their sheet music.

“Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She’d been drinkin’ too much egg nog,
And we’d begged her not to go.
But she’d left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.

When they found her Christmas mornin’,
At the scene of the attack,
There were hoofprints on her forehead,
And incriminatin’ Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin’ home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He’s been takin’ this so well.
See him in there watchin’ football,
Drinkin’ beer and playin’ cards with cousin Mel.

It’s not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family’s dressed in black.
And we just can’t help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin’ home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma’s wig.

I’ve warned all my friends and neighbours.
Better watch out for yourselves!
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin’ home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.”

Trackback URI | Comments RSS