Dec 03 2008
Christmas Song Parodies
By Sirena Van Schiak
It’s funny how old songs are still popular today as they were when I was a child. I still remember belting out all the funny Christmas songs such as Deck the Halls with Poison Ivy and various versions of jingle bells. As much as I enjoyed singing them, over the years, I stopped singing them and I began to forget about them; the only Christmas songs that graced my holidays were the old classics.
It wasn’t until my children started elementary school that I once again became familiar with the old Christmas song parodies. Part of me, the part I call mom, sighed in exasperation as every carol I tried to sing was suddenly morphed into a parody by a pair of voices from the backseat of the van but the other part laughed silently at each song.
The old Christmas song parodies were classics themselves and my children were happily belting out the song that I had sung as a child before collapsing into fits of giggles.
For whatever reason, we love Christmas song parodies. We remember them fondly from childhood and we smile when our own children sing them. They are a part of Christmas, the same way as fruit cake is. Sure, we pretend to dislike them but whenever someone is looking the other way, we pick a little piece off the cake or grin as someone sings a parody.
So to kick off some great holiday cheer, let’s start with the lyrics from a few classic Christmas song parodies.
Jingle Bells
We remember Jingle Bells and it is often played throughout the holiday season. Tons of musicians have recorded this little Christmas jingle but not many have recorded this version of it.
Jingle Bells, Batman smells.
Robin laid an egg.
Batmobile lost a wheel,
And Joker got away.
Joy to the World
Even as a child, I didn’t really think this was a very nice song but I still sang it with all my friends and always ended up mumbling through half of it.
Joy to the world! The school burned down
And all… the teach…ers died,
Except for the principal, he’s standing on the flagpole,
And we won’t let him down, and we won’t let him down,
And we, and we won’t let him down.
Deck the Halls
I loved this song when I was a kid, both the classic song and the parody but even today, I tend to forget the lyrics half way through and it winds down with a la,la,la-la.
Deck the halls with poison ivy,
Fa la la la la la la la la
Tis the season to by naughty,
Fa la la la la la la la la
Set your teachers pants on fire,
Fa la la la la la la la la
smash a window, pop a tire,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
12 Pains of Christmas
I have heard many different parodies of the 12 days of Christmas and even the original song can be a painful reminder of the holidays but this little parody, written by Bob Rivers, truly illustrates the “Pains of Christmas”
The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree
The second thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The third thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fourth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fifth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The sixth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree
The seventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
The Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez!
I’m tryin’ to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree
The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
Charities,
And whataya mean “YOUR in-laws”?!?
Five months of bills!
Ach, making out these cards
Honey, get me a beer, huh?
What, we have no extension cords?!?
And finding a Christmas tree
The ninth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws Five months of bills!
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
And finding a Christmas tree
The tenth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
“Batteries Not Included”
No parking spaces
BUY ME SOMETHIN’!!!
Get a job, ya bum!
Facing my in-laws!
Five months of bills!
Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez, look at this!
One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
And finding a Christmas tree
The eleventh thing of Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Stale TV specials
“Batteries Not Included”
No parking spaces
DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!
Charities!
She’s a witch…I hate her!
Five months of bills!
Oh, I don’t even KNOW half these people!
Oh, who’s got the toilet paper, huh?
Get a flashlight…I blew a fuse!!
And finding a Christmas tree
The twelfth thing of Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Singing Christmas carols
Stale TV specials
“Batteries Not Included”
No parking?!?
WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Charities!
Gotta make ‘em dinner!
Five months of bills!
I’m not sendin’ them this year, that’s it!
Shut up, you!
FINE! YOU’RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
And finding a Christmas tree
wow…this are really good! but very weird and naughty! interesting i dont really know if i like them hmm
awwh some i love them haha a
But how are you meant to sing the 12 Days of Christmas? Have a separate caroller for each line? It might be a bit tedious that way, though.
I just sang the Joy to the World one to my Auntie. Oh, how she lol’d!
haha i love this
The parody that my kids came how with is this version of Joy To The World.
Joy to the world the teacher’s dead. We bar-b-qued her head. But where is the body? We flushed it down the potty. And round and round it goes, and round and round it goes. And round and round and round it goes.
Then this is the next one they told me:
Oh ya better watch out you better not speed ya better not smoke your wacky weed, cuz smokey bear is out there tonight.
He sees you when your sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake. Oh ya better watch out ya better not speed ya better not smoke that wacky weed, cuz smokey bear is out there tonight.
LOL! My 11 year old sings that Joy to the World, too!